What a wonderful world it would be if we all had bosses like Jerry Jones. What will it take for Wade Phillips to get himself fired?

It’s five weeks into the NFL season and I have no idea what’s going on.

The 49ers are two games behind everyone in the NFC West; the Cowboys and Vikings are 1-3; the Buccaneers are 3-1; the Bears are 4-1; and the Saints slipped by the Panthers in Week 4 before losing by 10 to the Max Hall-led Cardinals in Week 5.

Could someone please tell me who Max Hall is?

There are a lot of things I don’t know about the NFL right now, but a few that I do.

1.) Three teams stand above the rest

Hands down the Ravens, Steelers, and Jets are the cream of the crop right now. All have elite defenses and formidable offenses. Luckily for the rest of the AFC only two can win their divisions.

2.) Three teams are just awful

The Bills and Panthers are absolutely dreadful and the Browns aren’t far behind.

If you get off the plane you’re guaranteed to score 30 against the Bills – they can’t stop anybody.

Last week, the Panthers picked off Bears’ backup Todd Collins four times, sacked him twice, and held him to 32 yards passing. They lost 23-6. Is that even possible?

Mike Holmgren is no idiot. It’s clear why he didn’t get rid of Eric Mangini prior to the season … he’ll need a fall guy. The Browns are bad and aren’t getting better.

They had a couple nice runs, but for these three, the best is behind them.

3.) The Bengals never had a chance

When the Bengals signed TO they instantly became the media darlings of the NFL.

Strange predictions began surfacing.

People forgot what division they play in, and how brutal their schedule is.

The Bengals are currently 2-3 and have Atlanta, Miami, Pittsburgh (twice), Indianapolis, the Jets, New Orleans, San Diego, and Baltimore on their schedule.

Good luck with that.