Over the past few years I’ve lost my ability to successfully operate a fantasy football team.

If you think I'm bad at fantasy football, just wait until this year's sure-fire picks.

If you think I'm bad at fantasy football, just wait until this year's sure-fire picks.

I take part in a keeper league, in which all 10 teams keep two players from the season before and then redraft the rest of the field. My keepers are consistently among the league’s worst, creating a vicious cycle of suckiness.

Things hit rock bottom for me in 2007. By no coincidence (I believe) that was the year my wife created her own fantasy league with her friends. She won her league in 07 and 08, while my team resided in the gutter.

In 2007 my team was headlined by keepers Shaun Alexander and Marvin Harrison. Yeah, yeah … I know, you shouldn’t retain old keepers. Alexander was league MVP two seasons before and Harrison was coming off one of his best seasons. Long story short – the two players didn’t even combine for 1,000 yards. And it’s never a good sign when two years later neither of your keepers play in the NFL anymore … or even the UFL for that matter.

In the end my 2007 team went 1-13. Ironically its lone win came the same year the Miami Dolphins evaded their unfeated season with a lone win.

The 2008 season wasn’t much better. When your keepers are Jamal Lewis and T.J. Houshmanzadeh, you are in for a long, long season. And yes, my keepers were painfully old again. Amazingly my team finished 6-8, nothing to write home about, but respectable.

So here we are in 2009 and I seek my first decent fantasy football season in some time. My keepers are slightly better than they’ve been in the past – Brandon Jacobs and Brian Westbrook – but neither is worthy of a first-round pick.

My team isn’t terrible, but it’s unlikely to improve much on last season’s 6-8 mark. In sum, it’s an injury and suspension waiting to happen.

My quarterbacks and their lanky frames are both injury prone – Aaron Rodgers and Matt Schaub.

My receivers are big-time question marks and two – Roy Williams and Terrell Owens – are both recovering from preseason injuries. Oh yeah, and another – Brandon Marshall – is currently suspended by his team.

My running backs aren’t anything to write home about either – Jacobs, Westbrook, Marion Barber, and LenDale White.

And we all know tight ends, defenses, and kickers aren’t going to save me. They are all painfully average anyway.

So the moral of the story is, I suck at fantasy football. I don’t know when it happened or why, but it did. I’ll let you know how bad it gets.

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