With four weeks in the books, the sure-fire picks have a record of 11-20. That’s not a misprint. Quite possibly, I am the worst handicapper in the history of handicapping. What I’m not is a quitter, so read em’ and weep.

Yes I suck at picking NFL games. At least nobody reads this thing.

Yes I suck at picking NFL games. At least nobody reads this thing.

Chicago (-3) at Detroit, 1 p.m. Sunday
The Lions ridded themselves of GM Matt Millen, but can’t rid themselves of the mess he left behind. The Bears could be the best team in the NFC North and should win easily if they don’t shoot themselves in the foot. Bears -3.

Kansas City at Carolina (-10), 1 p.m. Sunday
Why pick the Chiefs on the road at Carolina? Good question. I can’t think of any reason to take the Chiefs here except for the fact my gut tells me the Panthers will crush them. Chiefs +10.

Indianapolis (-3) at Houston, 1 p.m. Sunday
The Indianapolis Colts can’t afford to slip to 1-3 overall and 0-2 in the division. Coming off a bye week, they travel to face a desperate 0-3 Texans team also looking to right the ship. With two weeks to prepare and a sense of urgency, the Colts come away with a win here. Colts -3.

Washington at Philadelphia (-6), 1 p.m. Sunday
I’m just not sold on the Redskins, even after a commanding performance in Dallas. With Westbrook back, the Eagles will methodically pick their way through the Redskins’ defense and win at home. Eagles -6.

San Diego (-7) at Miami, 1 p.m. Sunday
Miami’s gimmick offense won’t take them too far, but with two weeks to prepare for a struggling San Diego team, I think the Dolphins will make things interesting at home. Dolphins -7.

Tampa Bay at Denver (O/U 46.5), 4:05 p.m. Sunday
The Tampa Bay offense looks like its been shot out of a cannon lately and there’s no reason to think it’ll stop against Denver. On the flip side, the Broncos offense will get back on track after stumbling against the Chiefs. Over 46.5

New England (-3) at San Francisco, 4:15 p.m. Sunday
Imagine what the bye week was like for Patriots’ players with an embarrassing home loss to the Dolphins festering in the mind of Bill Belechick. The Patriots will find a way to silence the doubters – for now – and improve to 3-1. Patriots -3.

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville (-4.5), 8:15 p.m.
The Steelers are beaten to a pulp. How bad is it? The brought back Najeh Davenport, who likes to drop deuces in women’s closets. I wish I was kidding. Jags -4.5.

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