Ocho Cinco and the Bengals pathetic offense will help the Sure-Fire picks get over the .500 mark on the season.

Ocho Cinco and the Bengals pathetic offense will help the Sure-Fire picks get over the .500 mark on the season.

Two weeks in and the record stands at 7-8 (missing one due to the Texans’ game getting postponed). Time to get above .500 folks. Here goes nothing.

Cincinnati at NY Giants (-13), 1 p.m. Sunday
Alright, I’m sold. Not on the greatness of the Giants, but on the fact that the Bengals are the worst team in the NFL. Imagine, an offense with Carson Palmer, Chad Ocho Cinco, and T.J. Houshmandzadeh that has 228 passing yards in two games – oh, and one offensive touchdown. It was a rushing touchdown. Giants -13.

Arizona at Washington (-3), 1 p.m. Sunday
Kurt Warner is old as dirt, but give him time and he’ll dissect your defense all day long. The Redskins defense is mediocre at best and the Cardinals will capitalize. Cardinals +3.

Kansas City at Atlanta (-6), 1 p.m. Sunday
Set your TIVO for this one folks, it’s going to be a thriller. I need to take an underdog, and can’t think of any other logical reason to take the Chiefs here, except that they are playing the Falcons. Chiefs +6.

Carolina at Minnesota (-3), 1 p.m. Sunday
After giving one away to the Colts and starting the season 0-2, an angry Vikings’ team is going to use Adrian Peterson as a battering ram straight at the heart of the Panthers’ defense. It will be good enough for an ugly win. Vikings -3.

New Orleans at Denver (-5.5), 4:05 p.m. Sunday
The Saints’ defense is banged up and Denver’s offense is on fire – a recipe for disaster for the Saints, who won’t have quite enough firepower to keep up. Expect both teams to score in the 30s or 40s here. Broncos -5.5.

Cleveland at Baltimore (-2), 4:15 Sunday
Do or die for the Browns here, a loss means 0-3 overall and 0-2 in the division. Should the Ravens prevail, let the cries for Brady Quinn begin. Joe Flaco (Placo?) and the Ravens offense won’t have the firepower to get it done. Cleveland +2.

Dallas (-3) at Green Bay, 8:15 p.m., Sunday
The Packers as 3 point underdogs at home? Something doesn’t look right here. The Packers will control the clock and lean heavily on Ryan Grant which will be enough to keep this game close. Romo throws at least one pick. Packers +3.

N.Y. Jets at San Diego (-9.5), 8:30 p.m., Monday
The Chargers are one play and one awful call away from being 2-0. Favre and the Jets have been painfully mediocre. Regardless, 9.5 feels like too many points for the Chargers to give. Jets +9.5.