It pains me to say that I’ve been playing fantasy football for nearly a decade. Not because it makes me a dork – which it does – but because I’m getting old.

The thing is, experience does you no good in this game. Sure, you have to have a working knowledge of NFL players, know your league’s scoring system, make quality free agent pick ups, etc. But when it comes to the draft – it’s a crap shoot and nothing more. One busted bursa sac or a lacerated spleen and your season can go up in flames.

I’ve logged amounts of hours I’ll never share with the public dissecting players, mapping out draft strategies, and studying trends. I’ve sat in front of a computer, flipping through draft sheets and magazines as time ran out for my selection. But in the end, it never helps.

Just for fun, I looked up last season’s preseason fantasy football Top 200 list from a notable resource. Cadillac Williams was ranked eight spots higher than Adrian Peterson, who was No. 54. Terry Glenn was ranked 97 spots higher than Wes Welker, who was No. 161. Derek Anderson didn’t crack the Top 200.

Sure, everyone’s a fantasy expert. But nobody is.

For you, my loyal reader(s) I now provide two simple, but essential, rules for fantasy football you must never break:

Rule #1: Discuss your league only with those in it

Nobody outside your league cares about your fantasy team. There’s a good chance the people in your league don’t really care either. Talk trash, have fun with it, but don’t bring it to the water cooler.

Rule #2: Never “root” for your fantasy players in public

I knew fantasy football was heading into a downward spiral several years ago. I was watching a Colts game at the Ale House in Orlando one Sunday afternoon. Back then, the Colts were in the infancy of their winning ways. Colts fans were nowhere to be found in the sweltering depths of central Florida. The Colts scored. I rejoiced. Some dude a few tables down burst out of his chair. I high fived him. Upon further investigation, he simply had Marcus Pollard on his fantasy team. Smoke came out of my ears. Moments later he was jumping up and down in front of another television screen. People like this bring out the worst of fantasy football. Please don’t be that guy.